Charity starts at home

I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world.
I told them to F*&# off! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!

Krismis Spirits

Helloooo my drolletjies!!!

I Just loooooove this time of the year.... it is one patsy after another, and everybody's bells are in a jingle bell r(c)ock... It's as if you have more energy, more lus vir die lewe and the birds in the sky whistle a tune to make your tiekie hakke skip to a boetebessiebob... shoop shoop shoop.

It's a time where I just want to burst into a song... whether you like it or not, I beat my own drum, some thinks its noise, but I think it’s pretty!!!

"There I was just a walking down the street
Singing Julius Malemaaaaa's duuubie dumb dooobie poooh
Snappin' my fingers and shufflin' her feet, singin'
Julius Malemaaaaa's duuubie dumb dooobie poooh..."

Anyhow... booz is cheap, or you can stomach the cheep white wine again for the sake of it, because EVERYTHING taste better when you moer a lot of ice in it... and not even a dreaded babbelas can stop you when you’re stuck in over drive! Because you don't give a damn... if you have to wake up at 6am, then so be it, at least the sun is up by then. When you make a drinkypooh in the winter, and have to be up at 6am... you swear at the universe, because not even the sun is up at that time! Who can be happy to wake up before the sun!? No wonder criminals are so sad and need to do drugs! One day in the midst of the dreaded winter... I wrote the following Afrikaanse gediggie (it is very raw, like my emotions and brain power was that cold and weary winter day)

Eina fok

ek is dankbaar dit is saterdag
laas nag het ek te veel gelag
en wyn gedrink en cocktails en tequila en brannewyn
vandag sit ek met 'n helse moerse hoofpyn
daar is 'n naar kol op die krop van my maag
wens ek kon my kop afsaag
het ek maar net laasnag matigheid voor oë gehou
hoef ek nie nou aan die kakhuis vas te klou
ek kan darem die heeldag in die fetus poesisie lê
dis al wat ek nou nog kan sê...

Sweet and short... sums up a hangover! For me at least...

Anyhoooooo.... the only deeper meaning for his post is to share a bit of Christmas Spirits to all my drolletjies!! My advice for today, tomorrow and the kak winter that follows - Live for today it may be your last... don't drink and drive, and always use condom and HAVE A FABULOUS CHRISTMAS!!!!

xxx
P@`

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Alive and Kicking

Helloooo my drolletjies!

Yehaaa and hip-hip hooraaay I've decided to start my very own blog! Why? Sommer - Last night I've Googled my own name and to my horror discovered that a duck named Petunia Peach is more famous than I am!!! So here's my blog... and here's to Petunia Duck ... I'll soon serve you for dinner sweeeety!!



Maar alle eendjies op 'n stokkie... I think I got the hang of all this whole blogging after this ordeal:

Ok, so there I was, waiting for my daily Bingo credits to renew on Facebook today, when I suddenly realised I was bored.

Now this don't happen a lot, because I'm always thinking of shittypooh and shows and outfits. Creativity always flows, just like my Gin, or Red Wine... (And Yes - I think a lot!!! Maybe that's why I get all these head aches - but luckily I found Grandpa's - dit werk soos 'n bom!)

Anyhooo so I was bored, then I decided, out of the blue - I want to do Blogging! So I got off my butt and went to my walk-in closet and switched on the light.

As I glanced upon rows and rows and rows of shoes, my eyes went slowly from one shoe to another, from the top to the bottom and there in the last row I saw three pairs of sneakers - or Tekkies like us Boere Aunties calls it.

I had to choose between pink Adidoos tekkies, Spike Airs, and P.E.P boutique specials - I choose my Pink Adidoos ones - cauz I love Pink!

After that I had to choose pants... I was about to touch my tighty whities... when I listened to my guides and choose my black ski pants - you know - tho hide the vetrolletjies.

I rounded my look off with my pretty pink boop tube and a pink headband - to keep my krullebolle out of my eyes. My kopkrulle julle vuil-gedagte-mense, for the other I wax!

Anyhoo... about 2 hours and a half after I had the bloggin brain fart - I was dressed and ready for action!!! But then all my soapies started and I got stuck on the couch...

So eventually when it was 7pm, I stood up and ran to the door... I peeked outside and felt the cool winter breeze on my soft silky cheeks... but it was to cold... so I blogged back to the sofa.

Then I decided I want a dora... So I blogged to the kitchen and skinked me a lekker Gin and Tonic, with a slice of lemon. And I blogged back my throne - making sure I don't spill any gin...

And I felt proud off myself. I started bloggin!!! Maybe I'll blog around the block tomorrow, but if one @#$#@ dog barks at me - I'll throw them with my hakskoen!

So one of these days... I'll be thin like Paris Hilton

Love

Petunia @`